You’ve probably done a lot to get ready. Maybe the nursery is painted. Maybe you’ve read the sleep books, toured the hospital and compared car seats for longer than you’d like to admit. You’ve been preparing for the baby for months.
But has anyone asked how you’re preparing for you?
I hear some version of the same thing from mothers all the time: I wasn’t prepared for how hard this would feel. Not because they didn’t prepare. They did. It’s just that almost everything we’re handed during pregnancy is about the baby, the birth and the logistics. Very little of it is about the person who is becoming a mother.
That’s what this post is about: preparing emotionally for motherhood, not just for the baby. It’s also the heart of Becoming, the guided program I created for the journey into motherhood.
Why does preparing emotionally for motherhood matter?
Pregnancy changes far more than your body. Your sense of identity shifts. Your relationships rearrange themselves, sometimes quietly and sometimes not. Your relationship with your own parents can come back into focus in ways you didn’t expect. Your work, your friendships, your sense of time and freedom all start to move.
None of that means something is wrong. It means something big is happening. There’s even a word for it: matrescence, the developmental transition into motherhood, often compared to adolescence for how much it reshapes a person.
When we don’t prepare for this part, it tends to arrive all at once, usually at 3 am with a newborn. When we do, we still meet the hard. We just meet it with more tools, more self-compassion and a little more room to breathe.
Do I need to be struggling to start therapy or support?
No. That’s the whole point.
So much of the support offered to new parents begins only when things already feel hard. We wait until the anxiety is loud, the sleep deprivation is crushing, or someone else notices. By then, we’re trying to learn new skills in the middle of the storm.
Support doesn’t have to wait for a crisis. You can start while things feel mostly okay, or exciting, or just a little uncertain. If you’ve been wondering whether what you’re feeling is “big enough” for therapy, I wrote about that too. The short answer: if it matters to you, it counts.
What does it look like to prepare for yourself, not just the baby?
There’s no way to prepare for every version of hard. But there are things we can learn and practice now that help us move through it with more awareness, curiosity and compassion. In Becoming, I organize them into five principles.
1. Acknowledge what’s here
Pregnancy can hold joy and grief, excitement and fear, all in the same afternoon. You don’t have to pick one. Practicing making room for all of it, without needing one feeling to cancel out the other, is one of the most protective things you can do for yourself before baby arrives.
2. Curiosity over judgment
Most of us carry expectations about what kind of mother we’ll be, many of them absorbed without noticing. When a thought like “I should be more excited” or “a good mom wouldn’t feel this” shows up, try getting curious instead of critical. Where did that expectation come from? Is it actually yours?
3. Capacity matters
Your nervous system is going to be asked to do a lot. Learning now to notice what’s happening in your mind and body, recognize when you’re running low, and understand what helps you come back to yourself will pay off in the newborn weeks. If this piece resonates, my guide to nervous system regulation for mothers goes deeper.
4. Beginner’s mindset
You don’t have to know how to do this already. Nobody does. Parenthood is one long practice of learning, making mistakes, repairing, adjusting and trying again. Giving yourself permission to be a beginner now makes it much easier to extend that permission to yourself later.
5. Keep becoming
You are not disappearing into motherhood. You’re growing. Staying connected to your values, your identity and your needs, while making room for the ways you’ll keep changing, is how you hold onto yourself through it.
The goal isn’t to be prepared for everything. It’s to have something to come back to when the unexpected comes.
Can therapy help with anxiety during pregnancy?
Yes. Anxiety is one of the most common experiences in pregnancy, at least as common as depression. It can look like constant worry about the baby’s health, trouble sleeping, racing thoughts about the birth, or a low hum of dread you can’t quite name.
Therapy during pregnancy gives that anxiety somewhere to go. We can work with it in the body, not just in your thoughts, so it has less power to follow you into postpartum. Starting now also means you’ll already have a relationship with a therapist if things get harder after birth, which is exactly when many people find it hardest to reach out. You can read more about postpartum anxiety counseling in Denver and the difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression.
What is Becoming?
So much of preparing for motherhood focuses on the baby. But what about preparing for yourself?
Becoming is an approach to emotional preparation for motherhood, rooted in the belief that we can develop the skills to navigate change, understanding our needs, and build trust in ourselves along the way.
Through foundational principles and practical, everyday tools, Becoming encourages us to approach experiences with acknowledgment, curiosity, and self-compassion rather than judgment or unrealistic expectations.
Because motherhood isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about. making room for who we are as we continue to grow and change.
Becoming comes to life through workshops and community gatherings, from practical conversations about relationships and transitions to casual coffee meetups that create space for connection, reflection, and honest conversation.
how can I join the movement?
There are different ways to connect, learn and explore the transitions of motherhood through Becoming.
Becoming: Conversation + Coffee
A casual gathering for women to connect and have an honest conversation about the part of pregnancy that gets less attention: us. The changes. The unknowns. The excitement. The overwhelm. The identity shift. Space is limited.
Join us Nov. 11th, 11am to 12pm at Nurture, Denver
Becoming: More than a Mom Manual
A workshop focused on preparing for yourself in motherhood. Explore the expectations, identity shifts and emotional changes that come with becoming a mother, while learning practical tools to navigate the journey with greater self-awareness, curiosity, and self-compassion.
Join us Dec. 9th virtually
Becoming: Babyproofing your Relationship
A workshop for expecting couples focused on navigating the transition to parenthood together, with strategies for communication, managing conflict, and staying connected.
Join us Jan. 6th virtually or in-person Nov. 8th at Belly Bliss, Denver.
Transition to Two
A supportive meetup for parents preparing for or navigating life with two children. Explore changing expectations, relationships, identity, and the emotional adjustments that come with growing your family.
Join us Nov. 7th at The Den-Lohi
How can I start preparing emotionally for motherhood this week?
You don’t need a program to begin. A few small practices can make a real difference:
- Name one feeling a day. Not the one you think you should have. The one that’s actually there.
- Notice one expectation. Write down one “a good mom should…” belief and ask where it came from.
- Check your capacity. A few times a day, pause and ask: how full is my tank right now? What would help, even a little?
- Say it out loud. Tell a partner, a friend or another pregnant person one thing about this transition that has surprised you.
- Find your people early. Community is easier to build before baby arrives. Here’s how to build your community as a mom, plus my list of Denver resources for pregnant and new parents.
How do I find prenatal support in Denver?
Look for a therapist with specific training in perinatal mental health. The PMH-C credential means a clinician has completed specialized perinatal mental health training and certification. I offer maternal and perinatal mental health support in person in Denver and online anywhere in Colorado.
The easiest first step is a consultation. No pressure, no commitment. We’ll talk about what you’re hoping for and whether Becoming, ongoing counseling or both would serve you best.
What if I’m already struggling right now?
If you’re pregnant and living with persistent sadness, anxiety that won’t let up, intrusive thoughts, or a feeling that you’re disappearing, please don’t wait for it to get worse to count. You are welcome here too.
Tell your OB or midwife, and reach out to me here. The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free, around the clock, in English and Spanish, by call or text at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). You do not have to be in crisis to use it. If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are in immediate danger, call or text 988, or call 911.
We prepare for birth. We prepare for baby. What if we prepared for ourselves, too?
You’re already becoming. You don’t have to do it alone.
About Michelle Paget
Michelle Paget, LCSW, PMH-C, RYT, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, certified perinatal mental health therapist, and registered yoga teacher based in Denver, CO. At Rise & Flow Counseling, her approach is relational and somatic, grounded in the belief that support shouldn’t wait for a crisis.
Ready to start? Book a consultation in Denver or online in Colorado, or learn more about Becoming.