“Pregnancy loss is devastating, this guide is meant to help just a bit. I am here for you.”
The silence after a pregnancy loss can be deafening.
The tiny shoes you imagined buying, the nursery left unpainted – the dreams of parenthood are put on hold, leaving behind a raw ache that no one else seems to fully understand. Or, perhaps they want you to “move on” faster than feels right to you.
You might feel like you’re drowning in a sea of “shoulds” and “what ifs.”
But right here, right now, I want to remind you: Your grief journey is uniquely yours. There’s no right way to feel, no timeline to follow. My name is Michelle Paget, and I’m a therapist and founder at Rise and Flow Counseling in Denver, Colorado. I’m here to guide moms and parents through grief after pregnancy loss, honoring your experience every step of the way.
It’s easy to get lost in the expectations of others after experiencing a miscarriage, stillbirth, or any kind of pregnancy loss. You might feel pressure to “move on” or “be strong” while grappling with a cocktail of emotions you never asked for.
Let’s name some of those feelings you might be carrying:
- Debilitating sadness: A love was lost, a future reimagined. It’s okay to let the tears flow freely.
- Fierce and unpredictable anger: At your body, at fate, at the unfairness of it all. Anger is a valid part of grief, too.
- Lingering guilt: “What if I had…?” These thoughts are common but often misplaced. Release the guilt, embrace self-compassion.
- Paralyzing anxiety: Stepping into the future, especially considering another pregnancy or the thought that maybe you’ll never be able to be pregnant again, can feel terrifying.
- Profound isolation: The world keeps spinning, but you’re stuck in your grief. Your friends or family might have babies, making it feel absolutely daunting to see them, or anyone. So you stay home. Know that you are not alone.
Here’s how we can begin to navigate this new landscape together:
1. Embrace the Messiness of Your Grief: Let your emotions ebb and flow without judgment. Cry, scream, journal, create art – express yourself authentically.
2. Find Your Tribe of Support: Lean on loved ones who offer comfort without judgment, connect with a pregnancy loss support group, or seek solace in individual or group therapy. Therapy can be a safe haven. Getting an outside perspective provides a space to process your emotions without filters, learn coping tools, and begin to heal at your own pace. (I am here for you on this – I help moms and parents with pregnancy loss and grief at my Denver, Colorado therapy practice.)
3. Create a Tangible Tribute: Find ways to honor and remember your baby that feel personally meaningful. A memory box, a piece of jewelry, a donation in their name – these acts can be deeply healing.
4. Nurture Your Body and Soul: Grief takes a toll. Prioritize nourishing food, gentle movement, restorative sleep, and activities that spark joy, however small.
5. Practice Radical Patience: Healing isn’t linear. Some days, just breathing will feel like an accomplishment. Offer yourself boundless grace and compassion.
Your journey through pregnancy loss is sacred. You deserve support, understanding, and a safe space to grieve on your own terms. If you’re in the Denver area, know that Rise and Flow Counseling is a safe place for parents navigating pregnancy loss. Not in Denver? Telehealth is available throughout Colorado.
Ready to take the first step? Click here for a complimentary consultation.
About Michelle Paget | Rise & Flow Counseling in Denver, Colorado
I’m a mom to two littles, but I’m well-versed with loss. In fact. It is one of my true passions to help moms and parents searching for grief counseling after pregnancy or child loss. It’s a set of unbearable feelings.
The depression and anxiety from any sort of loss are physically ailing and mentally crippling. One day, one step, one breath at a time, you can find the joy in life again. I’m here for you.
Resources and Further Reading:
Huff, Charlotte. (June 2024) The Hidden Grief of Miscarriage. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/06/hidden-grief-miscarriage.
Kersting, Annette. (June 2012) Complicated Grief after Perinatal Loss. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3384447/.
Address: 800 Grant St Suite 340, Denver, CO 80203
Phone: (917) 409-7042
Book Online: https://michellepagettherapy.com/contact
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